Saying Good-Bye

Saying Good-Bye

By: Angela Garrett

Saying good-bye is something that we all do everyday.  Most of the time we don't even give it much thought.  It's just a simple good-bye on the telephone or when we are walking out the door.  The definition of good-bye in the dictionary is a farewell at parting.  This past week good-bye has taken on a whole new meaning for my family.  My mom was diagnosed with lung cancer in January. For the past seven months, she has been doing chemo to try to put the cancer in remission.  Last week, we were told the chemo did not work.  There a few options to give us more time but nothing that will put the cancer in remission.  So now, for my family, we are starting our good-bye.  I feel blessed to have the time to say good-bye to my mom.  I remind myself that not everyone gets that opportunity.  I've seen it with families that we serve here at our funeral home.  

The fact that I've worked at Baker-Hazel & Snider Funeral Home for the past 20 years gives me a chance to know what goes on after death: the planning and details of a funeral service; the importance of celebrating life not death. I feel blessed to know at that time I will have my family here at the funeral home to help me.  I know they will care for my mom with love and respect.  I have watched Neil Hazel  and Rick Snider and all of our staff help families in anyway possible.  Working here will not change my pain or grief.  I will have to work through it.  This experience will help me to better serve our families.

Because of my faith and my mom's faith in God, I have peace.  Yes, I am sad!  Yes, I am mad at cancer!  Everyday it's a roller coaster ride of emotions.  Some are good and some are bad.  I can't change any of them.  I just have to roll with them and trust my Creator to bring me through.  When the time comes and I lay my mom's earthly shell to rest, I have hope that my final good-bye will not be forever. I will see her again!  I believe in Heaven  as much as I believe in gravity.  I can't see gravity but I feel it's pull.  When my mom is gone, I will feel the pull of Heaven even more.  

Right now, time feels like a friend and an enemy.  I have time to say the things that I need to say to my mom. I have the time to be with my mom while she is still feeling well.  Still, in the back of my mind I know that time is slipping away.  Time that we can't get back.  I don't want to waste my time with tears now, but I'm human so of course I've shed many tears this past week.  Sometimes I feel bad when I laugh, but then I remember that life has to go on.  My mom doesn't want us to be sad all the time.  She loves to hear me laugh! We've all been sitting and recalling fun and happy memories.  We are making plans to take a trip as a family.  We are having family pictures taken.  I told the doctor last week that I didn't want my mom to live dying.  I want her to die living.  So we are LIVING!